i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
