I'm drive I can fine osifer
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
