guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize