Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I have tasted many bathrooms
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
