who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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