omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
