38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
