I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
