Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize
