Sry I called you an 8
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize