She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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