he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
