I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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