At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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