I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I am available for nakedness
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
