We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
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