Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
