Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
