Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you would pick up someone in the library
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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