Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
