Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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