Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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