good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
