Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
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