id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
