His pubic hair was longer than his dick
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
