HIV tests are more positive than that guy
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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