how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize