Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
