Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
