Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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