Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
