it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
