I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
