Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize