i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize