So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
