I skipped work to stalk him.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
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