Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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