Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Every concussion has its silver lining
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
