Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
