Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize