PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
