Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
