I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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