is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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