i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Green mimosas i think yes
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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