Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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