Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
