ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
