Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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