I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
