Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
