So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The Olympian is in my bed
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
