I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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