I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize