I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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