so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Randomize