If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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