In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
