dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
